Anandotsav (from the Diary of Shiddharth)
(The events of the 23rd of February 2003)
It was in the divine land of Guwahati (Amingaon Ashram) where a few blessed devotees of Bhagavan took part in His divine sport of playing Holi with them. As the devotees received the news of Bhagavan's consent to play Holi, devotees from all corners of the country started to congregate at the aforesaid auspicious place to partake of this celestial bliss.
In the morning, Bhagavan took all the devotees for a boat ride on the river Brahmaputra. He appeared quite normal while He was on the trip. At eight o’clock, they all returned to the ashram. He asked Sujata Chakraborty, one of His most ardent devotees, to sing a song. Sujata poured out her heart and sang with all her devotion; "O Krishna, the enchanter of the mind, the stealer of the mind of Radha. Thou art the life force of Vrindavan, the one that lifted the mountain Govardhana, Thou rulest the heart, O Hari! O Narayana!" Bhagavan said, "I am going into samadhi”. Sing till I return. As Bhagavan entered samadhi, things started to take a turn. The bliss of boat-riding with Bhagavan still prevalent in the minds of the devotees started to be replaced by something higher. The sweet voice of Sujata amalgamated with her utmost devotion was well attuned with the highly spiritual atmosphere. A strong silence started to creep up within every soul. They were being gradually lulled into a state of calmness. The atmosphere was gripped by an unusual stillness. Sujata could continue no more. Her ceasing to sing passed by, unnoticed by anyone else. She sank into the depths of samadhi.
After a while, Bhagavan came out of the room and sat on a chair under the sun, which was pouring down its sweet warmth. Bhagavan was in a tremendous state. The solemnity and the seriousness of an unbounded ocean reflected from His countenance. It so seemed that even time forgot to pass on, and the devotees sat still in the form of an arc, facing Him as if mechanical beings. Bhagavan was beholding the Infinite, the vision of the Void. He said, "There's no bhava (feeling) here. This world is not real. Neither does that Rama exist, nor does that Ayodhya. How will there be Holi?" By then, all the devotees were being indomitably attracted towards Bhagavan. They began offering their obeisance by lying prostrate at His lotus feet. None could regain the strength of standing on their feet after this act of reverence. A few moments more passed.
All of a sudden Bhagavan said to Pankaj (Swami Premananda) - "Pankaj, Sing a song of Holi." Along with a few other devotees, Pankaj carried out the order of the Lord. He made a Herculean effort to give form to the Formless and Infinite. It so seemed that the vibration appeared to the One beyond all vibration, as if the formless Knowledge and consciousness were the threshold, taking the form of Divine Love. Bhagavan said, "Krishna is not yet born."
Some more moments passed. Bhagavan said, " Krishna is born”. Things were changing in Him. " Now He is of one month, now he is of two months ... now three”. His state was changing rapidly. His body started to move a little. An unknown secret smile was playing on His countenance. After a few moments He said, "Now Krishna is of nine years, come on, let's play Holi”. He first offered colours at His own portrait. Thereafter, He started playing Holi with the devotees. Whomsoever He touched, like love, like colours, sank into the depths of samadhi and fell down like a chopped-down tree. The devotees also played Holi with Bhagavan, intoxicated with divine love. Bhagavan was enjoying bliss with everyone, dancing with all the devotees. Nobody was aware any longer of the external world or even about his own self. Bhagavan was dancing in the midst of all the devotees, but each found Bhagavan to be dancing with him. During this time, Bhagavan witnessed the birth and manifestation of Krishna. Hence, all the devotees saw Krishna all around them. The ashram was transformed into Vrindavan. His devotees, who had never seen Vrindavan but nevertheless had a desire to see it, could no longer find the desire to do so. Even those who desired to have the divine glimpse of Lord Krishna could no longer find the existence of the desire anymore as they saw the living Krishna - Krishna who was living, smiling, crying, sporting, sleeping, speaking and dancing with them.
This was the 23rd February, 2003. Thereafter, this day began to be celebrated as, ‘Anandotsav’ - The Celebration of Bliss. Bhagavan gifted another day when men could forget their woes and agonies and immerse themselves in pure and selfless bliss. This divine event proves that Bhagavan is rooted in Godhood. Even before the devotees could prove themselves, Bhagavan proved that He is God -- the Supreme Person. He is His own witness -- One who is beyond all witnesses. This event is also a proclamation unto the future that if one should come into contact with Bhagavan, he or she could achieve the Supreme without any austerity whatsoever. This may sound strange, yet it is true. One is freed from all bondage on having the divine darshan of Bhagavan. Civilisation would cross the barriers of time if it could know Bhagavan. It would go beyond the jaws of destruction.